Modern Business Woman


Let's make love to the voting machines

Putting My Experience in the Porn Industry to Work

When I was a child, my mother told me that a man is good for two things: either making you money or giving you money. I'd like to think that men have been good to me on both accounts.

That's why I know I can lead Freedom Bluff into the the next phase of her life.

I want the women of this town to know that they don't need the men in this town. I can find you men.

I also want the men in this town to know that there actually are pretty women in this world. You just have to go past the city limit signs.

A vote for me is a vote for diversification. Just because your white doesn't mean you can't have sex with someone who's black, Asian, Hispanic, and/or some other race that hasn't been identified by the government.


I have had sex on every continent in the United States. My photo album has more skin color swatches than Lowe's.


Corky Corkenburger is up to something. No one knows what. If I'm elected, I guarantee that I won't be up to the same thing.




Gina was born for the spotlight. When she was five years old, her mother entered her into the East Texas Junior Miss Junior Dance Off, Talent and Beauty contest. Gina didn't actually make it onto the stage, because her mother could only come up with forty of the forty-five-dollar registration fee. But from that day forward, Gina knew that she wanted men to stare at her for the rest of her life.

When Gina was offered one of the seven leading female roles in Freedom in the Buff, her star was born. So too would've been her first child nine months later. But when producers of the film pointed out to her that it was a sibling fetish fantasy, she quickly decided to have an abortion.

Gina would like all potential voters to know that she hasn't smoked crack in six months and, at this time, she has no future plans to reignite her love affair with what she calls "The most erotic drug God ever created."

Issues and Platforms

Gina is the first to admit that she has a lot of issues.


  • She was raised poor.

  • She witnessed her mother have sex with more than a dozen of her "uncles" by the time she was twelve. After that it was always "cousins."

  • Her father was a fan before he found out she was his daughter.

  • Her mother sent in an audition tape when she started her production company. Her grandmothers each sent three.

  • Dentists always insist on putting her under anesthesia, even during routine exams.

  • Her gynecologist asked her to autograph a picture.

  • Her Amazon delivery driver has a tattoo of her naked body on his stomach.


Gina's platforms include:

  • Versace Juno Platform Pumps

  • Marni Whipstitch Open-Back Platform Mules

  • The Ekhator Label Silver Trixie Platforms

  • Zara Platform Heeled Ankle Boots

  • Valentino Garavani Patent-Leather Ankle-Strap Platform Pumps (Her favorite, and a gift from Elon Musk before he sent a rocket into space, but after he sent a rocket to "Uranus.")

  • Stuart Weitzman Piper 130 Platform Sandals

  • Amina Muaddi Yigit Pointed Satin Platform Pumps

Why should you vote for Gina?

You have to vote for someone, why not her?

Gina embodies embodiment. Body doubles stand in line to work with her. Body triples root for the doubles to get sick. And sometimes they do because of poison.


That's how much Gina means to her coworkers.

Gina will mean that to her constituents too. No one from her campaign is suggesting that anyone poison Mayor Corkenburger. It's just that if it were to happen, it would be just like in real life. So it's not like it would be anything out of the ordinary. Botulinum, ricin, tetrodotoxin, strychnine, and amatoxin are some weird examples of what people might use. Oddly enough, Gina knows a guy who knows how to acquire particularly fragile and handle-with-care products like those mentioned in the previous sentence. Those being botulinum, ricin, tetrodotoxin, strychnine, and amatoxin.

Anywho, vote for Gina!